The World of Isaac

They say all good things must come to an end...

2009-10-09T10:00:00.001-04:00

(I will be posting at Guyism....the same stuff I'm posting now....I'm not selling out...its just a new URL)

The World of Isaac has been around for almost three years now. What started as a small personal blog has blown up to be a fairly well-respected sports and humor site.

(And trust me, the words "well respected" is used loosely here.)

I never thought that I'd ever have the traffic that exists today. Close to 5 million unique visitors and and 8 million page views in the sites existence.

I've considered moving on before, writing for other sites, merging with bigger sites but the opportunity never felt right.

But as of Monday October 12th, I will be the sports editor of Guyism. A new men's site that will basically have everything...celebs, sports, humor, lifestyle (hasn't launched yet, still working out the kinks, don't go there yet).

Don't worry, not much will change from a writing standpoint. Although, there will be less of a local Detroit angle.

So if you come here Monday, you will be redirected to Guyism. I hope I have the support of you, the readers. If not, you can kiss my big brown butt.

Feel free to reach me at theworldofisaac@gmail.com for anything

~Isaac

JERRY JOHNCOCK NEEDED A CATHETER

2009-10-09T08:18:00.002-04:00

I swear to you I'm not making this story up...

Jerry Johncock of Shelbyville, Michigan needed to borrow a catheter to finish a marathon he had entered in.

I'm sure there is a joke here....You know Johncock and catheter and not being able to urine. I just can't find one.

Jerry Johncock of Shelbyville, Mich., was sidelined at an aid station about 21 miles into Sunday's race because a blood clot prevented him from urinating. The aid station had no catheter, but a spectator stepped forward to offer Johncock a catheter he had in his car.Aides helped insert the catheter and Johncock went on to finish in a little over 5 hours 22 minutes.

By the way, how lazy does this make you feel? An 81 year old guy runs a marathon and has a catheter in his weener...and he finishes. I have trouble walking to my car in the morning

NICOLE EGGERT CAN STILL LIFEGUARD

2009-10-08T14:11:00.004-04:00

From our friends over at Funny or Die comes this video of Nicole Eggert looking rather, how shall we say, plump...

This stems from some photos a few weeks ago that showed Eggert in a bikini. Suffice to say that it scared all the women and children.

But, I give her credit...At least she's willing to poke fun at herself.

Nicole Eggert is BACK IN BAYWATCH! from Nicole Eggert

AFTERNOON DELIGHT CELEBRATES THE LSU-FLORIDA SHOWDOWN

2009-10-08T11:00:00.003-04:00

LSU vs. Fla...the chicks (Coed)
A bra as a gas mask (Asylum)
Olga Kurylenko is still hot (Moondog Sports)
Lingerie football player gets surly on the sidelines (Busted Coverage)
24 Vintage Coca-cola ads (DJ Mick)
The 1990s described in one pic (IIB)
The 10 Greatest Game Show hosts of all-time (Super Tremendous)
The 25 best SI swimsuit videos (Epic Carnival)
Kate Beckinsale is a hot mess (on205th)
10 of history's unknown badasses (Blog of Hilarity)

AUDRINA PATRIDGE LOVES NASCAR I GUESS

2009-10-08T08:54:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure what to make of this. A pseudo celebrity looking rather slutty in front of a car shouldn't really be news.

But I guess Nascar is a sport supposedly and I guess Audrina Patridge is sorta hot.

Not that I'm complaining or anything. Trust me, I'd much rather see her in a short skirt waving a flag than say one of the uglier dudes ever, Richard Petty.

(That pic of Petty will scare you by the way)

FEMALE HAWKEYE FAN HARASSES PLAYER

2009-10-08T08:32:00.002-04:00

First of all, this girl scares the crap out of me. This looks like something straight out of Fatal Attraction. I know they grow them a little weird in Iowa, but this might be going too far...

Police said Mears, a UI student from New London, called out Clayborn’s name throughout the first three quarters of the game.

Clayborn is not named in the criminal complaint; however, he is identified in a no-contact order filed this morning. University of Iowa Sports Information Director Phil Haddy said that Clayborn was not available for comment today.

According to a previous third-degree harassment charge, the alleged contact with the Clayborn began on June 28 when Mears was given a warning against making contact with him. After that Mears continued to drive past the alleged Clayborn’s workplace while staring at him, police said. According to a criminal complaint for a July 27 alleged offense, Mears sent the Clayborn a lewd text message.

The Clayborn they are referencing is Adrian Clayborn, a defensive end for the Hawkeyes. Adrian, just some advice buddy...When you pick up chicks at the bar, make sure they are somewhat sane. You know, not the stalker types. Try to pick off some of the more drunk ones, they seem to forget a bit more than usual.

Wait, that doesn't sound good at all.

CRAZY ENDING IN HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME

2009-10-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

I don't know what's going on lately in high school football but this is at least the third or fourth time I've seen an ending like this.

Westland John Glenn gets their field goal blocked but it never crosses the line of scrimmage. As the other team runs off the field, the John Glenn Coach alerts his players to pick up the ball and run with it.

I love these clips because you always get the local yokel announcers screaming at the top of their lungs.

Clearly awesome.

CAPTIONS FROM THE TIGERS/TWINS GAME

2009-10-07T08:13:00.002-04:00

Not sure what Huff is upset about. Well, maybe its because he hit .189 after being traded to the Tigers.

Would you be surprised if it was Ozzie Guillen who picked up Miggy's tab last Friday?

There's a difference between a butt slap and a butt grab? Easy Edwin...

Thank Leyland boy toy Zach Miner for serving up that meatball Orlando

I swear, I thought I saw Miggy trying to get a sip of champagne last night

One of two calls in late innings that went against the Tigers...

You kiss your wife with that same mouth Miggy?

SPORTS PIC OF THE DAY-DERRICK MASON

2009-10-06T15:03:00.002-04:00

This picture is strange in so many ways. But just for a second, look at Derrick Mason's face. Almost looks like a photoshop.

EAT EM UP TIGERS, EAT EM UP

2009-10-06T12:41:00.003-04:00

Let's ignore the Miguel Cabrera shenanigans for one moment....

Ok, before we do that, let's just a quick look at his hot wife (fine...its not his wife, it sorta looks like jessica alba)

The Tigers are at the Dome today for a one-game playoff. A game that they are destined not to win.

Why?

Well, over the years the Metrodome has been a house of horrors for them. This year, they went 2-7...last year 3-6...you get the idea

Nobody was happier that the dome was getting taken down than the Tigers organization.

But that doesn't mean today is a total waste. Rookie pitcher Rick Porcello has shown a lot of heart and guts this year and the Twins are throwing Scott Baker. And no offense to the venerable Scott Baker, but he isn't exactly scaring anyone.

The bigger problem here is the Tigers anemic offense. In must win games down the stretch, the Tigers were lucky to get a run or two. Against the White Sox, their offense, or lack thereof cost them the Friday night game.

And Saturday, a hungover Miguel Cabrera could barely lift his bat off his shoulders. Lucky for them, Justin Verlander pitched his heart out and it was enough to salvage one win.

So who wins today? My heart is telling me the Tigers. My brain is telling me the Twins.

But as people have astutely pointed out the last couple of weeks, I'm baseball stupid.

So I'll go with my heart. Tigers win 8-4

Hey, even Coach Dantonio is rootin for ya.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT WITH REBECCA SIOUX

2009-10-06T10:59:00.002-04:00

More pics of Rebecca Sioux (GorillaMask)
Let's just be happy that the Olympics are in Rio...brazilian butts (Coed)
Katrina Bowden in a bikini (Moondog Sports)
The 49 Most Influential Men (AskMen.com)
5 Government gadgets designed to make you paranoid (Gunaxin)
Kobe Bryant knows how to shut up Derrick Rose (NESW Sports)
Message board geeks track flights for #1 recruit in country (Buster Sports)
10 pranks that went hilariously wrong (Hail Mary Jane)
Lions coach almost goes Jim Mora (Legend of Cecilio Guante)
Fight in the middle of traffic (Foundry Music)

THE MAN WHO TOOK VIDEO OF ERIN ANDREWS...

2009-10-06T09:30:00.002-04:00

Michael Barrett actually looks like a normal dude. I guess I didn't know what to think or who actually did it.

My envision was probably stereotypical. You know, some forty year old guy living in his parents basement. Wait, my fault, wrong stereotype. That's the one for bloggers.

I was expecting some porn sleaze with a shirt that said "Show me your boobies"

You know, something like that...

PEOPLE DRUNKER THAN MIGUEL CABRERA FRIDAY NIGHT

2009-10-06T07:30:00.000-04:00

In college, I once helped some cops administer sobriety tests. Basically, they put my buddies and I in a room and fed us alcohol. The highest they allowed anyone to get was .15. At that point, not a single person there could pass a sobriety test.

Miguel Cabrera blew a .26 at 6am Saturday morning. Quite an impressive feat to tell you the truth. In fact, I'd bet a majority of people could not even stand at that level.

But hey, Miguel was going to hit a 95 mph fastball that night. Anyways, in honor of Miguel's extreme drunkenness, we give you

"People drunker than Miguel Cabrera"

SPORTS PIC OF THE DAY

2009-10-05T12:48:00.001-04:00

THE UM LOSS: A PHOTO ESSAY

2009-10-05T07:30:00.000-04:00

I'd bet these guys are virgins...

That trombone player is aghast...

The sorority girl had too much to drink...

Who knew Screech was a UM fan?...

They spread their legs for the opposition...

They basically took a steaming dump on the field...

And yes, they have a male twirler...

DISTURBANCE AT MIGUEL CABRERA'S HOME

2009-10-05T07:00:00.000-04:00

The rumors have been spreading like wildfire here in Detroit. On Saturday, Cabrera showed up to the game with scratches all over his face and what looked like a bruise on his head.

For sure, he had been in an altercation of some kind. According to him, it was his dog....

Most of us were under the impression that Miguel wasn't running a kennel of Michael Vick fighting dogs in his house....

Some even speculated that Cabrera had been in a bar fight of some kind...But now, the AP is reporting a domestic disturbance...

Records show police responded to a "family trouble" call at the home of Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera.
A review of Birmingham Police Department records by The Detroit News indicates officers responded about 6 a.m. Saturday to Cabrera's suburban Detroit home.
The complainant was described as "Rosanna Cabrera." Cabrera's wife is Rosangel Cabrera

So all in all, a bad weekend for Miggy. Not only did his Tigers blow the Central division lead while he contributed nothing offensively (0-11), but his wife beat him up.

Ouch!

UM AND MSU: A JOKE, A VIDEO, AND A PREDICTION

2009-10-02T13:20:00.003-04:00

A Joke

A farmer was walking in his fields near Ann Arbor, Michigan and he heard the sound of distant singing. Confused, he tried to follow the sound. It led him to a group of his cattle and surprisingly to the rear end of one little calf. He bent down and lifted the tail so he could hear clearer and it was the University of Michigan Fight Song!

Amazed, the farmer loaded his calf into a trailer and drove into town. He went to see his vet and explained what he had discovered. The vet said "well, bring em out and we'll take a look." So the farmer led the calf out of his trailer and up the vet. The vet bent down, lifted the tail and calmly stood back up. "Sure enough, that is the University of Michigan Fight Song."

The farmer was ecstatic. "Doc! Why aren't you more excited!? This is amazing! Unheard of! We gotta tell people!"The vet, a third generation Michigan State University grad said, "Hell Bud, I'm a Spartan - I have been listening to assholes sing that song my whole life."

A Video

and a Prediction

MSU-37
UM-28

H/t to WOI Reader S.B. for the joke

ANGEL HERNANDEZ IS A CRAPPY UMP

2009-10-02T10:47:00.003-04:00

Lost in the hoopla of the Twins-Tigers series the past 4 days was the atrocious umpiring of one, Angel Hernandez.

Its well known in the MLB that Angel has a quick trigger finger, but his inability to control the situation in yesterday's game almost cost both teams.

In the early innings, Tigers utility man Marcus Thames was drilled in the back/shoulder area by Twins starter Scott Baker. After a quick glimpse at Thames stats against him(.308BA, 4 Hrs), you'd wonder if it was intentional. As retaliation Thames slid hard into second and prompted a heated exchange with Orlando Cabrera.

Fast forward to Thames next at-bat when he again, was pitched high and tight. At no point here did Hernandez issue a warning. The game went on as if nothing happened.

Later, in a somewhat close game, Ramon Santiago attempted to tag up from first base. The tag looked legit on tv but an appeal by the Twins to first yielded an out. Jim Leyland was livid and as you can see in the freeze frame below, he had a right to be.

Moreover, as if the Tigers didn't already have a beef with Hernandez, SS Adam Everett had a pitch thrown behind him in the 8th inning. Jim Leyland came to argue and was promptly ejected.

The very next inning, Jeremy Bonderman retaliated by throwing at Delmon Young. Both Bonderman and Laird were ejected as both dugouts emptied.

All in all, this is just more proof at the inept umpiring of Hernandez. Let's hope for the Tigers sake, he is nowhere near one of their playoff games

RUMEAL ROBINSON IS A DIRTBAG

2009-10-02T10:28:00.003-04:00

I'd like to place ex UM star Rumeal Robinson amongst the following list of lowlifes

1) Charles Manson
2) Jeffrey Dahmer
3) The Juice
4) Roman Polanski
5) Rumeal Robinson

This is one of the more disheartening stories you'll read in awhile. Helen Ford, the adopted mother of Robinson was evicted from her home recently after being swindled in a shady business deal spearheaded by Robinson himself.

Ford, 65, is close to tears when she explains the day when a constable came to her door this past March and handed her an eviction notice — giving her one month to clear her home of her belongings and leave. Back in 2003, Robinson, now 43 years old and living in Florida, allegedly tricked his foster mother into signing over the deed to her own home — on a street named after him — and transferred the property to people unknown to her. They held the home as collateral in a suspected business transaction gone wrong.

Way to go Rumeal. Lady takes you in after your mother abandons you and you kick her to the curb. There is a place reserved in hell for people like you.

JOE MAUER TIPS PITCHES

2009-10-01T08:00:00.002-04:00

Thanks to reader Tom for sending this over to me. I've always thought both the Twins and White Sox did this. Especially to pitchers like Verlander who they have no chance against.

But with Joe Mauer doing it...Well, that's gotta sting to all the Twins fans that built him up to be the greatest player in their franchises history.

And its not like its subtle. Its about as obvious as it comes, although, the person making the video does a fantastic job of pointing out every single movement Mauer makes (some of which, are incorrect)

This obviously doesn't paint Jason Kubel in a good light either. The best he could muster knowing every pitch was a fly out to center field.

I guess when people say that when you enter the Twins farm system, you have to learn how to play "Twins baseball".

Well folks, I think we now know what they're talking about

AFTERNOON DELIGHT CELEBRATES HALLOWEEN EARLY

2009-10-01T11:30:00.000-04:00

The sexiest Halloween costumes of 2009 (InGameNow)
5 things you didn't know about Roman Polanski (AskMen)
10 chick drinks that'll get you laid (Atom)
Futon Fail (College Humor)
The Japanese have strange humor (Warming Glow)
20 things to do on a dry erase board (Minimum Rage)
15 years of futility...A story of the Cleveland Browns (BackPorch)
The Iron Sheik has twitter (Corporate Thuggin)
Vick has a voodoo doll (GSF)
Eric Wedge got canned (Babes Love Baseball)

NICK PUNTO LOOK ALIKE?

2009-10-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Apparently, its Minnesota Twins day here at The World of Isaac.

I can't believe I never noticed the striking resemblance between Nick Punto and Bradley Whitford....

Shut up, stop pretending like you have no idea who Whitford is. Josh Lyman on the West Wing, the guy who challenged Billy Madison to the academic decathlon....He's a big time actor...come on

And I'd hate to mention Billy Madison without the most hilarious quote in movie history...

SITE UPDATE

2009-10-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

Apologies for the lack of updates. I believe an evil Twins fan sent me a virus.

Freakin sore losers.

Actually, I'm pretty sure in my quest to find a stream Tuesday night for the Twins/Tigers game, I downloaded a trojan.

Terrible. Laptop is back up to speed now.

TIGERS FAN TRIES TO SEAL WIN

2009-09-30T08:37:00.003-04:00

If you can't beat them straight up on the field, well then, get your own version of Jeffrey Maier in the stands.

Except that this guy still couldn't stop the venerable Joe Mauer from making the catch.

LIONS FANS SO HAPPY THEY TAKE THEIR PANTS OFF

2009-09-29T13:39:00.002-04:00

As a Lions fan, I can say I'm officially ashamed of our fan base. Last week, we had that ugly exchange between some drunk fans and this past Sunday, we had this.

I don't exactly know how to describe it except to say that a movie entitled, "Soddom and Gomorrah reign down on Ford Field" would be more than apropos.

Read more details at Deadspin